New understanding of Obedience
The "Letting"

James 1:2-3 says “Count it all joy (Jennifer), my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness……..”
Then ~ James 1:4 says “and let steadfastness have its FULL effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
Okay......so I need to “let” steadfastness have its full effect???
On my way to work last week it sort of hit me that perhaps I’ve been looking at obedience completely wrong - If our obedience is from OF us……..That's not right. (as in, The "grit your teeth, roll up your sleeves and obey, dang it" - "get doing this and thus")
It’s more like James 1:4 says – we need to “let” steadfastness have its full effect……..or
Col 3:15 “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”

(When I think "LET" I get a picture of a person on their knees with arms spread wide open and their head tilted way back)

It’s about being empty and needy, leaving our hearts open in submission, ready to WAIT on the Lord, empty, thirsty and longing to be filled - longing not to obey for our own external reasons, but to obey from the heart. That is what every real Christ lover wants....we want our hearts engaged in it......a heart that (more consistently every day) desires to be faithful to Jesus from the heart in all things. We desire - the desire to do good.......

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength."

Freedom and the easy yoke Jesus told us of, is to focus on loving our God, knowing Him intimately --- and our fruit will come forth seemingly without effort. It's a disposition change.

SIDE note......
After discussing this topic, Hibby and I discovered where the term PEACE-KEEPER MISSILE came from......it seems like an oxymoron......

But if you think about it - it really is WAR to REST and trust and hope in Christ alone.

Later friends ~
Jen2

Honoring the Lord and One Another
in ALL Pursuits ~

This entry is on being pursued - just a few thoughts from a girl's perspective

Well, how to put this in a nice way?
Just to qualify all of my little comments below..............by no means when I say "guys" or "girls" do I mean to put all people into those two categories.....my views are still so under developed.....this just happens to be a thread of conversation amongst the single friends I have that are truly seeking to honor and obey the Lord in all of their pursuits, including keeping an open heart to receive the blessing of a spouse or of singleness.

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After having conversations lately with dear brothers who are seeking to honor the Lord in their pursuit of a wife, it's apparent to me that guys see the meaning of pursing a girl much differently than we girls see it.
Brothers seem to think more along the lines of pursing a girl to be "getting to know her" and girls seem to take being pursued more to heart, we inherently trust that the brother knows enough about us to believe that we could very possibly be their wife...........which is why so many women end up with their heart in their hands wondering why she even gave the guy the time of day in the first place. It's not that the guy wasn't "serious." He was serious - but he was serious about merely "getting to know her."

Many guys view 'dating' as a means to finding out if the girl 'suits' them......rather than thinking, (as my mentor's husband put it) "Am I the best man to lead this woman?"
PRAISE THE LORD for James ......seriously......he's given my brother and many other men a God-centered view of what it means to pursue and love a wife as Christ does his church.

And that question (the one in BOLD) is something that (in my little opinion) should be sought, if not found out by the man PRIOR to his initiating a 'dating/courtship' relationship.......preventing her from having the unnecessary pain of a break up.

I can tell you that when men have pursued me who know me very little, if at all….....and even if he seems like a great guy and I'm attracted to him..........it has felt dishonoring - since what can his decision be based on but merely physical appearance or a very brief conversation?


It's boils down to the timing in which the guy makes a move. If it’s too soon, in my mind......the brother hasn’t had time to pray and think about the foundation of the potential relationship – as in………is this girl genuinely seeking the Lord?…..does she have the qualities to be a helpful and tender /loving wife and mother?

Now, if a guy thinks a girl is attractive - seriously you can't rip on that - because that is how God made men...……a place to start sure..……..but that doesn’t mean that he should pursue her time and affection based on that alone ….he should watch a girl to see her heart……does she love and fear the Lord, does she have a meek and calm spirit that is resting on Christ, does she seek to serve people and love and honor others above herself?

****It’s a far more effective approach when asking a girl for some of her time, to say something about how you’re noticed specifics about and have appreciated her character, and that her physical beauty only compliments that. Beauty fades - but women who love Christ become more beautiful with age......through and through.



Ladies -
When we're being pursued - we need to think about this seriously.........Does what matters to God- matter to this man? Has he really given time and prayer and thought to where he's attempting to take the relationship ? (as in, from friends to dating)
If not, seriously........don't play games with his heart, nor yours. Let time go by - let friendship develop and watch him. If he turns right around and asks every other girl out - you've made a good choice in declining the first time.
However, If the initial turn down causes him to wonder and seek the Lord more diligently - and after a few months he asks you again - THIS is a man you might want to take note of.
What girl of us wants to merely be an "option" ? Forget that noise.

That is what Christ did in redeeming his bride. He chose us, and He is forsaking others that we might know we are cherished and beloved of God. (don't get all caught up on the position we hold as loved of God because it is SO not because "WE are so lovely".......that's not even close to the truth behind our redemption)

Christ loved His bride, and bought her at a high cost. He gave His life for her to purify her, and bring her to himself. Loving her with her imperfections and sin and all, HE PAID FOR THEM and does not count them against her........

His life was spent and his love was set on us - while we were yet sinners and long before we loved Him. *sigh* NOW THAT is worth dreaming after......our glorious king will return for us........He promised....and he didn't mince words.....He said
Is 43:1b "I have called you by name and you are mine."
Is 62:5b "....As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God
rejoice over you."

So, let us pray and wait.

"No More Dating - I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty -
My prince will come for me - he'll come for me!!"
Cause God is writing - My love story

~ Barlow Girl

Jen2

A state of peaceful closure.

Tonight was what God has been preparing me for over the last days and weeks. The conclusion of a chapter in my life that has been in process for over 3 years is finally complete.....and the Lord had planned it.....and has mercifully given me grace to endure it. Trials and pain change a person.....in ways that you cannot change back. (if you seek the Lord in the midst of them)
James 1:2-4
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. "

I hear that second part directly "Let" steadfastness have its full effect, Jennifer. (that's a whole blog topic itself..........)

What I meant by the chapter/trial in my life that is complete.......tonight was the sacrifice of the last little bit of hope that there was for a future with a certain man.....one that I had loved for so long. The feelings that had held my heart together for him all that time.....have come undone so slowly that I hardly noticed....through periods of questioning and odd periods of indifference that caught me off guard. (as the Lord loves to do.)
After talking to him tonight, it seems that God was doing the same work in him.
He is a dear man, a brother in Christ Jesus...and whatever we were to learn through the joy and pains I'm sure will reveal itself in due time. One huge thing that I'm taking away is knowing this one thing well - I loved who he wanted me to be....who he believed and hoped that I could be- for the sake of the name of Jesus, whom I love.
It may sound depressing to some to hear that a man had made known his qualms about who a woman was and what she should be like.....but very rarely do men challenge me to be more of a woman - a woman who fears the Lord in her speech and conduct. I liked that he told me that ladies shouldn't be crass, nor obnoxious, nor over humorsome in their speech...and that there were certain things he wouldn't discuss in front of me or movies that he wouldn't take me to......I believe that was because he felt that ladies shouldn't be around such things. I felt challenged to get and keep my heart open to rebuke for my own good.......challenged to be submissive and being in a relationship with someone who believed that I could be -was a tremendous blessing.

He probably did all of this without even knowing most of it.......but the Lord has heard my thanksgiving, even now, for this same sense of closure that I had had just one month prior to our second round of dating.
It was not in vain, and I cannot be broken today over regrets........I feel an odd sense of freedom.

I have to say that I hope that the training that I received (from the Lord) while dating him, has resulted in changes that will benefit my future husband....(should that be a portion I might receive) But one thing I know, regardless, is that it was a good experience in my quest for a more holy heart.

It is well with my soul- better then good. :) After all, I know where my hope is.

Thank you to all of my dear friends for sticking by me through all of this.......and for your prayers. No doubt that the Lord has heard them and blessed me with this amazing peace and contentment - and desire for Himself more than anything. I love you friends.

Held firm by grace,
Jen2

Criticism vs. Edification
Yes, I'm criticising criticism and critical hearts ~ for edification purposes?

Eph 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

At a recent event there was a bit of grumbling about how married couples sometimes get too "cozy" at church. (hugging, rubbing backs etc) And while yes, I have to agree…..it’s not the time nor place to be all caught up in PDA – still, we never know what is going on with THEM….like - what if the wife just miscarried and the husband knows she’s sensitive to hearing the word from the pulpit about trusting the Lord in tough things ??! (Praise the LORD for Husbands who tenderly care for their wives as Christ does for us, His bride)

Honestly….if we’re focusing on the Lord and resting in Him, there shouldn't be anything that other Saints can do to us or around us that should rock our hearts and distract us.........
***Please know that I completely understand being distracted at church by the exact things that they were talking about.....but I truly believe that the problem lies NOT with the affectionate couple -but with ME - and MY heart before the Lord -
I get my thoughts about that by reading things like this:

“God continually introduces us to people for whom we have no affinity, and unless we are worshipping God, the most natural thing to do is to treat them heartlessly, to give them a text like the jab of a spear, or leave them with a rapped-out counsel of God and go. A heartless Christian must be a terrible grief to Our Lord.
The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on God.”
~ Oswald Chambers

Hopeless Grief ~
The tragedy of Anna Nicole Smith

There is an odd sadness in my heart for her.......as if I knew her. Perhaps because our sins were pretty much the same.

Ez 33:11 The Lord said "Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?"

Anna's life was lived in the here and now, and her joy was found in things of this life alone.....things that, when taken away.....would leave her without any hope whatsoever.
(Demonstrated by the grief over her son's death leading her to what seems to be suicide or perhaps an overdose of drugs that were used to try and escape the reality of her pain.)

Think about how terrifying that would be......to lose one you love, a child even.......and to not know where they are, not know why we're all alive if we're only going to die......not knowing the hope of the promise in Christ Jesus - forgiveness of sin, and life everlasting.........

So now, this superstar beauty queen who lived in trial after trial and from what we know, never saw herself in truth enough to seek repentance toward God.........is perhaps suffering ever more still.......for her infinite sins against Almighty God.
It's times like this that I am shocked at my own salvation.........WHY in the world was I given eyes to see the beauty of God's holiness - when prior to my conversion I was chasing after the same things as her?

She had everything that the world could offer, fame, beauty, money, children........and now..... she is separated from all of those things - forever....the worst part is that she is separated from the presence of God, whose kindness to her was meant to lead her to repentance and faith.

With this untimely death of a worldly sex-symbol........we need to re-examine our views......she IS an eternal being...... as the women who are just like her are.
Some of them may be sheep that need to hear the voice of their shepherd.

May we not forget to tremble ~

J2

How Important IS Commensurate Authority ??

In the Home
In the Workplace
In our relationship to the Father

I had never heard anyone use the term "end run" other than my pastor....until just recently at work. In an effort to "make my life easier" by requesting that my loan exceptions be able to be run by someone other than my direct supervisor, I made myself look foolish. Even though I received the permission from the Chief Credit Officer of the bank to do my approvals thru a co-worker instead of my interim branch manager........I ended up stepping on the toes of my supervisor and also ticking off the HR gal.

Feeling 'wronged' again....I went home and the Lord laid it on my heart - heavy.....that I am in the wrong - again. He kept bringing to my heart conviction of how I obviously still have some rebellion left in my heart that needs to be put to death......
Texts about how servants are to obey their masters, not only the just and kind ones.....but the unjust and difficult, disobedient and arrogant - all for the Glory of God. (and we are technically servants to those whom we work for if you think about it. Servants got food and clothing and shelter from their masters, and well, we get money to buy food and clothing and shelter.......only difference in the USA is that we can go work for a different "master" if we choose to)

All in all, learning obedience and submitting to those whom the Lord has placed over me seems to be where the battle is being fought. My heart. If I am to submit to a man as a husband some day, it seems that I should be able to submit to those whom God has placed over me now.....for my good and training in holiness. Why do I question things constantly? Why can't I simply do what is asked of me without needing to know all the reasons why and how and etc!!!!
This.....is my New Year's resolution.......a little delayed.......but whatever.........2007 is for my learning to yield to the Lord by yielding to those who are placed as leaders in my life.
He's commanded that of all of us in Christ Jesus.....Romans 14, & Eph 6:5
Col 3:22 "Obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord."

I'm still bumming about my hard heart yesterday....but the Lord was kind enough to break me up and move me to apologize to my boss.....I felt like I was apologizing to my own grandfather!
I also said, and really meant it......"I'm done being difficult and stubborn now, Lord willing."
He looked like he was shocked and appreciative....it went very well. I only hope that my heart change about this situation is permanent. Feels that way. Humiliation is good for the soul.


"O Conquering King - Conquer MY HEART "

With all I got ~
Sheep # 2,302,938,547,372,283,192
AKA
Jen

Learning much from little ones ~

Sunday was remarkable, as usual. The children of BBC are absolutely amazing.
Each week, we have the same routine......play then worship, then prayer and verse memory time, then prayer and snack/memory verse focus time, then a God-centered story, then we color a picture that is related to the story they've heard in small groups.

Well, sometimes, when I'm trying so hard to think about what to draw out of the story and drive home to them- (oftentimes - over thinking it)..........and they end up teaching me a thing or two about a thing or two. :)

It took me a minute of trying to figure out what else we can go over with how magnanomous the Lord's power is in parting the Red Sea......in addition to explaining to them that just because it's called the Red sea doesn't mean that it wasn't blue. (sigh)
All of the sudden my ears heard the words of the little song that Micah was singing.
(keep in mind these are 3 year olds)

I tuned in and heard as clear as day "Jesus, Jesus how I love Him, how I've proved him o'er and o'er... Jesus Jesus PRECIOUS Jesus, Oh! For grace to trust Him more."

Not only do I LOVE that song- especially the plea at the end "OH ! for grace to trust Him more!".......but that it was sung from a little guy who hasn't seen the corruption that we adults have seen.....just made it all the more beautiful. I want a heart like that.........
I was trying not to cry as I sat there coloring my picture, thinking of what other things we should review from the story......but I just couldn't focus, it was the most precious sound ever......he just kept singing the same part....over and o'er. :) heh.

It's been a long time that I've been praying that God would give me the chance to be a mother.......and for a hearty desire to sing hymns in my home with my little ones some day, as I'm cleaning or doing laundry...whatever.........that I might hear praises put up to God and to the precious Lamb.......fruits of training little hearts in truth.
Oh, my....what a blessing that would be......

For the Sake of the Name ~
Jen2
aka
oatmeal

How do you KNOW you're in love?? (written by Pastor Piper)

Now, what about that sermon title: “Staying Married Is Not About Staying In Love”? What’s the issue with being “in love”? The problem with basing too much on it is that it is a fuzzy thing. Not as in warm fuzzy, but as in fuzzy photograph. The line between when it’s there and not there is vague. Am I in love with Noël? This is a test. You decide.

1) When she goes away, I miss her—not just because I might get tired of cereal (except that nice people bring us things), but also because there is a vacancy in the kitchen and in the living room and in the car and in the bed and in the air.

2) When my day off rolls around each week on Monday, I want to do something special with her. Admittedly not very special. I just want to be with her. Old Country Buffet. (No kidding—real people and all-you-can-eat for two for fifteen dollars. It’s a cultural experience!) Famous Dave’s. (Where else can you get corn on the cob in January?) Scrabble. (She almost always wins.) River walk in the summer? A long easy evening sitting in the same room reading. The point is: I like being with her in all this.

3) I am sexually attracted to her. Remember I am giving a test for you to judge if I am in love. God has been very good to me by giving me eyes only for Noël. The point is not that I am not tempted to look too long at risqué pictures. The point is that I am not now, and never have been for the last forty years, drawn to any other women. I have never had to kill a rising attraction to another woman. There never has been any. In fact, I have said to Noël that God has, so far, built a safeguard into our relationship that the thought of being romantically involved with another woman makes me physically nauseated—almost as much as a homosexual imagination. It doesn’t feel like a virtue. It feels like acid reflux. (Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. Will do.) She is all I have ever been attracted to. And I still am.

4) Noël’s admiration matters uniquely to me. There are thousands of people who think John Piper is not admirable for all kinds of reasons—shouts too much in his preaching, too black and white, dogmatic, judgmental, too conservative, misogynist, hypocrite, proud, not separatistic enough, too separatistic, post-tribulational, hedonistic, Baptist, charismatic sympathizer, subjectivist, tolerates drums, uses questionable language, reclusive, too serious—for starters. That matters to me—some. But what Noël thinks about what I am and what I do matters uniquely. I would rather have her approval and commendation with a thousand emails of disapproval than the other way around.
However, things are not the way they used to be. I can remember the way it was the first time we held hands in 1966. It was not a small thing. It was romantic and sexual. Today we still hold hands. Often it is a sign of truce. I’m done being angry and I want things to be good. Other times it means: I’m glad you’re with me as we go to the doctor. Other times: God was good to give you to me. It’s different. The fruit has ripened. It is not flush with spring green. It is gnarled and worn with thick skin. When you live through fire, the fruit has to develop very thick skin to protect the vital, succulent core.
Unlike the early days of being in love, life is hugely practical. We talk about practicalities of home and work and children a lot. The relationship has a large business component. This home has been a little company: five children to raise, food to prepare, house to keep, car to maintain, health to tend to, clothes to buy and clean, education to plan and pay for, friendships to nurture, ministry to navigate, money to manage, etc. Romance does not dominate this relationship like it did at the beginning.
We know everything there is to know now about each other’s failures. Past failures. Ongoing failures. There is no idealization any more. Marriage is risky business and should not be entered without a huge confidence in the sovereignty of God. If the text is true (which it is), “They were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25), then the day is long past in world history, and in our marriage, when freedom from shame is based on having nothing to be ashamed of. Now it is true—God make it more and more true!—by the maturing of grace.
In the end, the gospel of Christ crucified for sinful husbands and wives is the ground of our marriage. Here is where we see grace. Here is where we receive grace. Here is where we learn to give grace. Growing in grace-received and grace-shared is how we are moving forward toward the day when Christ will be all in all and there will be no marrying or giving in marriage (Matthew 22:30). It is a precious gift while we have it. It is a painful and happy school for heaven. I am thankful for my wife. I am committed for life. Am I in love? You decide.
Pastor John

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Pastor Piper's comment during last Sunday's sermon - that it takes the grace of God to open eyes and hearts to see that marriage is so much deeper than butterflies ~ to rid the heart of the shallow expectations of love and marriage gives me hope for our culture....because it's up to my Father to turn the hearts of people.

It seems like many brothers and sisters that I know have convinced themselves that love should feel like ........umm.....well.......remember the knots in the stomach that we used to get in middle school (don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!!!) when that certain girl or guy would be in study hall......the excited nervousness that never ceased due to the uncertainty and mystery of him or her ??

I think we need to get rid of the ideaology of what we think love should be......and soak up the beauty of the texts on love and pray that he bring it out of us.........

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient and kind;
Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends"

Song of Solomon 8:6
"For love is as strong as death, and it's jealousy is as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD.
Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it;
If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, his offer would be utterly despised."