Why do some Repent - Part I

So many confusions of categories in the faith.
Did God ordain who's going where?

Um, yeah.

Is a person responsible for what they do and morally culpable?

YEP.

What the?

Why are non-believers struggling LESS with this thought than believers is beyond me. I struggled with it hard core. Hated it even.......until I submitted to the word of God.

The whole issue needs to begin and end with Scripture, not our human understanding. Taking to heart the words "lean NOT on your own understanding" is sooo critical to getting to the crux of the matter of faith in a Sovereign God.

The text that cannot be skated around AND no matter how you slice it, or dissect it in Greek, is Romans 9:10 & f.
"Not only that, but Rebekah's children had one and the same father, our father Isaac.
Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad—in order that God's purpose in election might stand: 12not by works but by him who calls—she was told, "The older will serve the younger." Just as it is written: "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated."

What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses,
"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."

It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.

One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' " Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?

What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? As he says in Hosea:
"I will call them 'my people' who are not my people;
and I will call her 'my loved one' who is not my loved one," and,
"It will happen that in the very place where it was said to them,
'You are not my people,'
they will be called 'sons of the living God.' "

Isaiah cries out concerning Israel:
"Though the number of the Israelites be like the sand by the sea,
only the remnant will be saved.
For the Lord will carry out
his sentence on earth with speed and finality."

It is just as Isaiah said previously:
"Unless the Lord Almighty
had left us descendants,
we would have become like Sodom,
we would have been like Gomorrah."

I don't really feel the need to highlight the parts that SCREAM out God's choosing who will not be hardened against Him. To my dear Arminian brothers and sisters (whom I know are God's)
what then do we do with this verse?

In Christ,
jen

The Great Exchange

In a conversation with a brother in the Lord recently....he said something pretty blunt about Facebook.....he hates it.

And though I enjoy seeing my friends photos and what they are up to and chatting via msgs that way........I see his point....his main point.

That facebook and especially it's ever more VAIN counterpart Myspace.....are "all about me"......well, isn't that just the easiest thing to sell to America. 

"The land of the ME" is more like it. 

I'm seeing it everywhere.....testing - in everything I do.  Sure, I won't be dropping off facebook anytime soon perhaps........but you know.....I think we have to ask ourselves.....in all of life.....our words, our workout, our relationships - what is our ultimate goal with it?  Is it God honoring and others focused?  Do we use it as a means of blessing others or do we simply use it to bolster up that stupid soul of ours with vain pretenses that we are humble and yet desire to be envied?

ack.......

Seriously, if I see myspace ever again, i might have to yak.  The girls trying SO hard to be sexy and lusty.....it's just so sad.  They want love and use this sensual draw card (which is sad enough) to attract loser guys who only think about ONE thing...who use "love claims" to get what they want.  And the cycle continues.  I've been removed from the world for so long that I had forgotten the system....

Anycrux, The problem sadly, isn't JUST the world.....the draw of living 'empowered lives' is pulling sheep in.  (real sheep ? that's debatable) *** by 'empowered lives' I mean girls who use their attractiveness as a means of getting what they want.

The worship of self is SO denied by those of us in the church, let alone unbelievers. 

Though today while looking for a new workout video, I stumbled across a website of a girl named Jennifer Nicole Lee (brothers, beware and take heed to my warning not to go there if you be loyal to Christ) 

This chick goes on and on for oh, 10 minutes about self love being the most powerful love there is and she FLAT out says "we women, should be worshipped" 

I was like.......WHAT !!? 

I know women who act that way, but NEVER had I ever actually heard anyone say that.....out. loud. 

All in all, she uses "happiness" and "empowerment" as draw cards fpr her religion - self worship.  DOOD. what is this girl gonna do as she ages.  She is human, she is an eternal soul in a body of dust.....she will face THE God to whom she will have to give an account of all of her demands for worship, all of the sin in men's hearts that SHE caused........idol words.....yikes..

Romans 1:25

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the things created rather than the Creator, who is forever praised."

This all comes together......hang in there with me.

ALL of life is a battle against loving self more than God.  Believers too....actually, we're probably the ONLY ones engaged in a battle against self love.   Paul Tripp wrote a book called the War of Words, which my husband has been tremendously blessed by and has been sharing HUGE heart themes with me that have caused me some internal turmoil. (in a good way) 

Paul quotes James 4 in the book........and I would tend to agree (knowing my own sinful heart) that our own desires - which are self focused - cause our external sin....words, actions etc.

So that if I'm driving down the road and someone cuts me off and I'm upset.......it's because in my world - they should know that I HATE that and not do it. 

(As my dad used to say "the world REVOLVES around me") 

Completely wicked.

Our communication issues, our butt hurt - all of it is not the OTHER person.....or the circumstances.....it is our own self focused "ME first and you better not get in the way of what I want or ELSE there will be consequences" mentality.  It's absolutely sneaky, and it's absolutely in the hearts of all men and women.

Look for it in your heart.....watch where your feelings get hurt....it is self love.

Because love for others - "covers an offense" and "overlooks wrong" and "rejoices in the truth"

Watch where you get frustrated with people you don't know

(Paul Tripp used the example) - "I want to drive down a road alone that other citizens paid for"

Or at work....thinking you're so great that everyone should admire you....but what do you have, that you did not receive from the Father?......including gifts, intellect, ability, comprehension, health - that you are even ABLE to work?

Christ is to live in us, and for that to happen we must be crucified, and reckon ourselves dead to sin.  

CrossMovement said it best when they said 

" My Self will lie, in a coffin, often, self does try, 

to let greed creep in and be like "just get by"

That's a lie though, cuz I dive LOW to get high oh~ 

Cuz he lift me up like hydro - EASY."

That Christ may be all in all.

jen2

ramble ramble.....

Haha.......well, where else you gonna find a quote from a Christian author, a fitness model, and Cross movement? :) 

Trembling words

So, I can't sleep.....

I started writing this at 11pm Wednesday night...who knows when it'll get done....but I cannot get these thoughts out of my head lately.

My husband has been reading a book called The War of Words by Paul Tripp.....with much profit.

He shares the truth from the texts brought up in that book with me just as a "hey, I'm learning this" type thing.....but the effects are much more potent than he realizes.

The power of the tongue is huge..and I see the negative side so much more clearly lately that i have less and less to say......mostly because of the deadly poison I see coming out of my own mouth.  Talking of things that I should not, and rude and self seeking words to my husband when he's trying to talk rationally with me.  My heart is just broken.  I have  nothing to say for myself....and the questions that come lately (if I don't try to numb them away) are something like "am I really a believer?"

To fail this much in my heart and to claim that it is regenerate seems peculiar.  I almost don't even like people talking to me as if I AM a believer.....because I am not yet convinced that I am.

But lo and behold, by the mercy and kindness of God....my younger brother, saved just 5 months after I was 8 years ago, is going through a very similar stage of the faith.

It seems as though God is kicking me out of the nest a bit by removing some of His enabling graces to do and think and rejoice in righteousness....sort of giving me a glimpse of what I am without Him.....I tend to agree with my brother - that one of the main reasons that God lets believers fail is to remind them that their righteousness is an alien righteousness.  Sure, we wear it, it is our only hope, but it has never been OF US.  All that comes from us is hate and greed and self exaltation and wickedness. 

I also think that the Father does this to me so that I would read the promises such as "you will find me when you seek me jennifer, if you seek me with your whole heart"

with great encouragement.

No more crying as loud as I can until daddy comes and pick me up and scolds the ones who were picking on me.  It's time to grow up a bit, to let my roots go deep down in the soil of the word that I would not be blown over by these trials of this temporary life.

DOING the word is much much much different than I thought.  I love to learn doctrine and I think that it is very necessary....VERY.......it is a foundation to acting rightly, since how can you have discernment of right and wrong - based on nothing?

sigh.  that's a whole other blog topic for you doctrine haters out there.....I hope to convince you that knowledge is precious......but MORE than that - to convince those who are too knowledgeable for their own good that DOING the word from the heart - with the love of Christ........is much more precious than knowing so much.  Sadly, i have met many people that emphasis TOO much one point and belittle the other......they are either 'relationships' or 'doctrine' people.  Agh.....enough rambling...I'm sleepy.

As my husband has taught me when we pray - trials? I welcome them, they are for my good, and though I am still weary.........I thank God for Jesus.

Grace for help in time of need, and mercy - sheer mercy to not be crushed for our sin like we deserve.

Here we go. Year 8. 

By His grace I've come thus far, and by grace alone, i will get home.

In Christ Jesus, 

jen2

The latest trial

So I'm getting crammed into this place where the Lord is definitely trying to give me understanding in something. Though it seems ambiguous yet.....and that is very hard for me.
I've been through this before, where I have ways about me, or attitudes of heart and I have an idea that they are not in line with God's word, but a text will not cut my heart to release the pressure that has been building up for sometime. I long to know what it is that I need to repent of, but it is just out of reach for now......

and so I wait.
and watch.
and listen.

Perhaps this sounds nuts, but I've been here before......the numbness of life and the stagnancy of my heart just cause me to read the word more to find out what it is that is lacking in my thinking - because I'm lacking the right affections. (hatred for sin, love for God that is overflowing and love for my family in the Lord)

So odd.....so normal. If you're there too, hang with me and watch...
Waiting for my deliverer........He will come as surely as the spring rains that water the earth,
jen2