The latest trial

So I'm getting crammed into this place where the Lord is definitely trying to give me understanding in something. Though it seems ambiguous yet.....and that is very hard for me.
I've been through this before, where I have ways about me, or attitudes of heart and I have an idea that they are not in line with God's word, but a text will not cut my heart to release the pressure that has been building up for sometime. I long to know what it is that I need to repent of, but it is just out of reach for now......

and so I wait.
and watch.
and listen.

Perhaps this sounds nuts, but I've been here before......the numbness of life and the stagnancy of my heart just cause me to read the word more to find out what it is that is lacking in my thinking - because I'm lacking the right affections. (hatred for sin, love for God that is overflowing and love for my family in the Lord)

So odd.....so normal. If you're there too, hang with me and watch...
Waiting for my deliverer........He will come as surely as the spring rains that water the earth,
jen2