This just in....
Studies show that 10 out of 10 people will die

"Whatever you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do ALL for the glory of God."
1 Cor 10:31 "For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." Romans 8:13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The greatest motivation for all things we do in our lives cannot be for temporal ends. Meaning temporary results.....even if "we eat right, stay fit" - we die anyway.......so even being healthy is a temporary joy.....and I want soul satisfying - PERMANENT joy.

So.....umm, with eternity in mind......why workout?
This may be a touchy subject for some believers......those who, when I talk about taking care of our health sometimes fire back at me some verse like "physical training is of LITTLE value"......compared to the very important spiritual fitness that we give ourselves to in reading God's word" YES, yes that is true......but let's not use God's word as an way to get out of taking care of what God has given us.

"He loves thee too little, who loves anything together with thee, NOT for THY SAKE"
ie....Loving health and fitness and enjoying food without enjoying the giver of the ability to exercise and access to food, etc.......

Background ~ When my mom left my dad, I was about 12....and she and I were never really all that close to begin with.....and I never really had a role model.......until...well...... I remember that sometime shortly after that....I saw Baywatch for the first time, and became obsessed with wanting to be like Pam Anderson. I had heard people talk about how beautiful she was and somehow I put together that women have value and will be loved......if they are beautiful. I had every newspaper, magazine and even a poster of the Baywatch crew.....only so that I could mimic her......though I didn't have the motivation just yet........
When I was about 14-15 I had gained a BUNCH of weight.....weighing around 215lbs at 5'5'' (ack!) I was picked on quite a bit the first couple years of high school - which was really rough......especially since one of the best looking guys was one of the biggest jerks. So the summer between my sophomore year and junior year, I decided that that was over........ I colored my hair bleach blond, lost 100lbs in 4 months (extremely unhealthy, and had friends and parents turn me in thinking that I wasn't eating at all, though I did eat a little bit here and there) and started working out....a lot. Around that time, I met a guy who was obsessed with fitness and we ended up dating for 3 1/2 years.........bodybuilding and fitness shows - figure competitions, vanity abounded. I had entered a costume contest as Pam Anderson and won $2,000.......the biggest ego trip though, was when little kids or teenagers would come up to me at the mall or the state fair and ask me for my autograph.......agh.........got a huge head over that......thinking that I was somebody, when I was imitating someone else's vanity......I was a hopeless fool.
In April, 2000, however......my life came to a halt.

As true as the book of Eccles - I saw the fleeting pleasure of sin as just that......fleeting. I saw myself in truth.......
"My sin, my sin, my Savior - how sadly on thee thy fall."

Sitting in that seat in the auditorium on Easter, Apr 23, 2000........the connection. The sins committed by me - the honor and respect and glory I sought for myself in my vanity, the immoral life I was living (with a man I was not married to), the horrible way that I treated people..... my sin is what sent Christ Jesus to the cross. The girl who cared so much about what people thought about her, was in a puddle on the floor surrounded by 2000+ young adults that seemed to fade away in the shadows. No thought was taken regarding "image" except for how I must appear before a Holy God.......and the beauty of Christ and His most amazing love for sinners and scoffers - gripped my heart unlike any image in the world. Who dies for their enemies!!? Only the Son of God loves like that.......and those born of His Spirit.
In light of the gospel of Christ now, being NO longer as one in the world - no longer one of those women who are slaves to their flesh, beating their bodies into submission at the gym -seeking merely to turn heads and feel 'valuable' and to continue to look in the mirror with hopes to convince themselves that they are really remarkable.........my life is lived now in light of eternity.
I am not my own....I was bought with a price, therefore, the God who has been so merciful to me, who is worthy of my praises, my devotion, all of me......I will eat and drink and workout IN SUCH A WAY that those in the world will know that what I eat or drink or whatever I do - is not my ULTIMATE value - Christ Jesus is my everything. I don't say this to be frothy....

I simply mean that if you have Salvation for eternity, nothing else matters;
If you DON'T have salvation for eternity, nothing else matters.

My Goal is God Himself, at any cost, my dear Lord.

Sorry for being all over the place........
In Christ Jesus by His Mercy,
Jen2

Heart Check - 53 cents

Foolishly us sheep sometimes get into 'mode' and just do life without taking into consideration that all that comes into the life of a believer is ordained of God for some greater END....(and is good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.)

The mundane can stunt growth if we're not careful.....just going through the motions of work with no view of eternity - ack~

So, the other day God shook me up out of my ''wedding planning mode".......
I went to buy some little gifts for a shower that I was throwing.......and found some great buys. (praise the Lord!)
Including these cute crystal candle holders......and candles (sold separately)
I put the candles in the holders to see how they looked and ended up just leaving them in there as I put my things up on the counter to purchase them.

Though I wasn't paying super close attention, the thought that the cashier may not have taken the candles out to ring them up separately flashed through my mind......then the thought of "well, if I don't look at the receipt, I won't know any different, and I can just be ignorant and get away with not having to hand her my check card again and pay for the little pink candles"
THEN I thought, "oh, no.....my heart is trying to excuse not paying for something......."
So, as I bit my lip, I looked at the receipt and then said to the cashier "umm, you didn't charge me for the candles, but only the candle holders." the WAR raged in my heart.....OVER 53 CENTS!!! A Gollum and Schmiegel sort of battle.

The money was not the point; The fact that I had to repent as I did what was right - knowing that I had just considered (evil) in just walking away (thief) makes me terrified.......and yet gives me joy.
God has not yet given me over to my sin.......repentance is a gift that I've been given yet again by Christ in His mercy.......dang.
I fear for the ones who thinks it is wrought autonomously by any foolish sinful human being.

Repentance is of God.....
Longing to get lower.....to understand our true standing before a Holy God -
Then - the Cross is magnified.

Jen2

Where's YER HOPE at ?

Agh.....Constantly......being brought back to this, the crux of the matter.
"HOPE IN God" the word tells us
(through David's Holy Spirit inspired preaching to HIMSELF)

And if we're not hoping in God, and we're truly His children.........there are many things that he will knock out of our life.......so that we are cast more and more fully onto Him as our only hope, and our source of joy and strength and peace

It is a terrifyingly wonderful thing....and it makes your heart feel all out of control, when God takes away hopes you had for things in this life......letting go has some greiving involved....but it's not Joyless by any means...........
You look to your friends, who are not perfect, who are not Christ....no matter how great they are - they fail. You look to your spouse, to the closest relationship that a human can possibly know and it doesn't take much time to realize that they are in the same boat as you are -
(brace yourself, you're married to an imperfect self-seeking by nature- sinner)
You fail them, and humanly speaking, you cannot bear the weight of expectations they might carry from walking around in our romanticized, phony, finicky, lustful, and kiddy-pool-deep-love culture.
Everything in our culture (and unfortunately in MANY ''christian" books) points us to a view of love that makes much of US......

I don't think that romance is wrong, but basing a marriage relationship off of such things is just silliness. (to quote one of my favorite pastors, Alistair Begg)

Matt 23:23
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others."

Being told 'woe to you" by God himself is.........umm.......terrifying if you let your heart wrap around the words Christ spoke.
His desire is not only for us to bring the gifts to the altar.......but to seek justice and to be merciful and faithful in all things.....demonstrating that we trust Him.

God help us keep our troth,
and measure love by blood and oath.
(snip taken from Pastor Piper's poem - "Pilate's wife")
Working it out with fear and trembling - no joke
Jen2

Dear Christian Sisters...........
a MUST READ, after much prayer ~

"For Women Only" book by Shaunti Feldhahn

My dear friend (and maid of honor) gave me this book last week.......to help me get a better understanding of what it is to the wife of a God-fearing man in a culture like ours.....and although it is by far the hardest book (emotionally) that I've ever read......it is good, and helpful...
soooo good. Being able to respect, love and honor is more practical than I thought.
It's much more than just saying "I respect you" or complimenting an accomplishment of a man.....

I would caution any woman who struggles with self centeredness - not to read this book until she has prayed earnestly that God would allow her to read it with a heart that desires to understand her husband and how he's wired, with the end in mind to bless him and be more encouraging and more devoted to his good.

I only mention the caution because unfortunately, I still had and have some 'western culture' in my heart and head that is being brought to the surface to be burned away (painfully) by our faithful God. My hope is to be a blessing and a fountain of joy for Brent so that he would abound in thanksgiving to God, and see the power of God in my life as I surrender my will and my heart to be molded to be his devoted and faithful wife.
In the mix of all of the reading, I recommend thinking often about the verse in
Prov 31:12
"She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."

I feel free when I think about how to bless him......challenged and excited..... but if I fall into the "what about jennifer?" mentality - my joy is stifled, and I feel robbed and wronged and it gets hard to see grace and to read the word with any kind of profit.

To be totally honest......the hardest chapter of the book is about wives taking care of their appearance - always. It's such a taboo in the Christian culture.....and if you mention it to some women - their response will be that they feel hurt or pressured or unloved.
(ahem, me too, if left to myself without God's grace)

It's sooo odd. We women want to be attractive to our husbands, but we don't want to be loved because of our attractiveness, we want to be loved regardless of how we look......
In the book, there were many polls taken of God-fearing men, to get to the bottom of their hearts on these issues........and I have to say....reading about how men feel when their wives don't take care of themselves was just heart breaking.....they feel like their wife does not care about them, about their happiness...and most times, the man will not dare to say a thing to his wife, because he really does love her for who she is and wouldn't want to hurt her feelings....and sometimes the men can feel as though it is sinful to want to desire his wife more physically. SO not the case brothers !
But yes, we women are very fragile in this area, because of our disgusting culture, influenced by hell itself, that perverts the good and God-given natural desire in men to desire beauty....
Both men and women seem to be crippled in their marriages because of our hyper sensual culture....and we need to fight off the worldly mindset of "looks are everything" and fight off the popular christian mindset of "looks don't matter at all or you're sinful"
God made men visual....God made women with the desire to be desirable.......it's as plain as the day is long.

On the more encouraging side - Men feel loved and honored and blessed when their wife goes out of her way to take care of her appearance.....working out, eating right, etc....WOW.
After reading that chapter and wrestling over the last 24 hours......mostly because there is an undercurrent in our Christian culture that makes it seem like men shouldn't care about their wife's appearance.......and men shouldn't be deeply attracted to their spouse's exterior nor care about it at all or they are sinful, fleshly and worldly minded.
THAT is a huge lie, trapping men between a rock and a hard place.
Truth is that they love their wives as they are, but would be blessed if the wife made efforts to be in the best shape she could, and wore a bit of makeup- even if he is the only one she's going to be around. A man feels loved and is more encouraged to fight against the culture he lives in, knowing that the wife he has is fighting for his delight in her for the glory of God.

God delights himself in his bride.....the church. Men are commanded to be intoxicated by their wives.........and I'm agreeing with this very very difficult book that out of love for God and for our husband's joy and encouragement - we women should be doing all that we can to help them obey that command to delight themselves in their own wives.

Let the sisters who are able to receive this, receive it.
God created men to admire beauty.......there's no way around it.......and to embrace it within a redeemed marriage will be a refreshing thing because of Christ.

Matt 5:6
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

With the recent news that a dear brother in Christ (former boss of mine) has been diagnosed with leukemia.....a right view of the shortness of my own life has given me better perspective....again.
No wonder Edwards resolved to think about death daily.

Hungering for righteousness....to love more deeply and to forgive quickly- not counting sin against a brother or sister because Christ has ransomed them.....AGH......

Is it just me or does it get tempting for others to think about the 'hurt' we feel when we're wronged and close off to the person who hurt us, rather than extending grace and love and the open embrace that Christ is always waiting to give us stupid sinners.

The depth of the love and acceptance that the Father has for us in Christ is just staggering.......
We're side by side in the war against sin......not enemies.
Scattered thoughts today..........

In Christ Jesus with you ~
Jen2