Thursday, January 22, 2009

When the Love of a Sinner reflects their Savior.........

I feel so foolish so often.....seeing my behavior not line up with the truth that I subscribe to.
One of my good friends described being appalled by her own behavior as somehow being outside of herself watching herself speak cruel words to her husband and thinking "wow, you're really mean"

The need for self reflection time was provoked by a dear sister from my former church who said quite bluntly "your sin looks so very wicked when committed by someone else"


If I was a girl who knew me......who saw how blessed I was to have the husband I have, I'd feel the weight of the scripture MORE I think. SAD. What applies to how a woman is to love and respect her husband in the hard times? AND what am I believing about my FATHER's giving me to such a man?

All in all, my husband is a man who strives......he has come to rescue me from my pathetic self too many times to count when I've been trapped inside my own mind by lies that threaten to define my reality and destroy my marriage.

I don't deserve him.
Him, who is not perfect either....who has his own struggles......continues to lay aside his own concerns and hopes to come and get low with me in my muck.
My heart melts every time by the sincere love in his voice......he reflects Jesus much more than I ever give him credit for.

So, we're studying Hosea for my bible study...his character, his life's purpose.....and I see my husband's role in my life..............and his. He is getting a better understanding of what it is like to love an imperfect bride, what God's love is REALLY like for his church......the height and depth and breadth......and I'm learning how humbling it really is to be loved by such a one.

Covenant love is such a peculiar thing.

I have some issue, some idolatry of some expectation of some sort that is not met....and I give myself over to my idolatry being so hurt and so discontent that my marriage isn't this or that, and in a BIG way reflect the harlotry of Gomer.......she continues to run from a man who loves her....and her husband goes to find her, in the midst of her worldly pursuits (her prostitution) and he brings her back to himself.

This is the love of the Father......the love of His Son for his Bride, the church.
"Never will I leave you nor forsake you."

Ramble ramble.
I love him......Christ Jesus. and I love seeing him in my dear husband, Brent.
To God be the glory in his church.

up out,
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