Blessed Reminder of the Faithfulness of Our Great God:
If we're saved - the hard road is not a joyless road

Yep, I'm a hedonist....I believe that pursuing joy in God is commanded; That it is the reason for obedience and the only way to obey him truly.....(is if you do what is commanded with joy and not murmuring)....as are other emotions such as gratitude and hope and grief (over sin)

But if and when all of the commands in the scriptures - HIT you with the force that they were intended to. It is a terrifying thing.

Lately, even though Brent has been given so much amazing grace as he has begun to lead me........and love me......for some reason, God's demand for my submission to him has become so real and has left me paralyzed for the last few days.
I met with my mentor last night (Praise the LORD for her....she does not let me get away with anything, but is so sweet and gentle - continually saying to me, "but Jennifer, what does the word say?")

I have to admit that I went home discouraged somewhat.....the only reason being fear.
Fear that what if I submit and am walked all over and taken for granted and my thoughts and heart are cast off to the side....then what?
Well, thanks to Ann's teaching....reminding me that those emotions are not based on God's truth but the world......and the world is living out the curse that started in the garden.

Women dominate most of the relationships in our world. You can see it all over television. Weak men who are arrogant and lazy and women who wear the pants in the family, make the decisions and belittle their husbands.

I haven't fully gripped the "how" to submit in the sense of doing it whole heartedly - with joyful dependence and trust in the God of my husband who is his head......but I do know that Christ died to free us from the curse, by becoming the curse for us. So now, I am able to live out what is commanded, because I am not bound as a slave to my flesh.
The crux is that even though my heart agrees fully with God's law and commands of me in this area.....I was still a bit rattled and worried about my own ability to tear my household down with my mouth. I want my husband to become all that God has designed him to be.....a bold and loving leader. Lionhearted and Lamblike. (pastor Piper definition)

So in my desperation.....I prayed last night.

Waking in the morning to God's blessing - my husband text me this morning with the sweetest poem. It was like a fresh spring of water that refreshed my heart and made me realize that he doesn't have to love me just as I don't have to submit to him. It is by faith that we obey the Lord in the marriage arena.......and surely we hope that the other one will seek Christ's strength.
I'm guessing that my sweet submission will bless him just as tremendously as his loving and very well thought out words have me this morning.
Surely the poem was written by God and presented through my wonderful husband as an answer to my prayer for help in submission last night.

Anyhow...I've got much reading and praying ahead of me yet......and God has promised to be faithful to help me for His name's sake.

Still blessed and amazed.
JenB