Low and Weak in Faith and Love

There is this 'love' that we have for others that allows us to delight in them......we like the way they express themselves, make us laugh, like similar things, think similar ways....we appreciate feeling as though we are on the same page as other people. To be and feel known and accepted..... We love to be loved this way so much and sadly........we expect it.....we think that we deserve love. That American mentality keeps us from seeing the depth of the preciousness of the gospel. If we were so WORTHY of love......than what God did in Christ HE SHOULD have done....I mean, cause we're "so great and all"
Someone get me a yak bucket.
If the love directed toward us is somehow obligatory, how could it ever produce the kind of humility that it was intended to produce?
Ez 16:63
"That you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I atone for you for all that you have done, declares the Lord GOD."

Lately, I've been noticing more and more.......that it only breeds arrogance when we sinners get the mindset that we are loved and accepted and delighted in by God (Is 62:5) (and other people) based on some intrinsic value in ourselves.....like we deserve to be forgiven ?

We fall into the trap that the Jews did with their expectation that OF COURSE eternal life belongs to them and all the blessings in this life simply because they are 'Abraham's seed'
Being irreverent in our conduct while attending church and reading God's word while walking around cheapening grace by continuing in the flesh........(I mean, the cursing, coarse jesting, worrying merely about things of this earth and not about the HUGE need to maintain communion with our Father as if our life depended on it....because it does)
I'm sick of myself.....and the only hope I have is that with God's hand heavy upon me......and His giving me a desire to have real love for other people.......perhaps He has not given me over to my sin. I long to see real love in the church here.......but sadly - the depth that I long for and the kind of Christian living that is most earthy and dependant on God is SOOO freaking rare in our kiddy pool deep Christianity. Sure, I've seen it, and it was beautiful and drew me in, and made me jealous for my own heart to be more holy.........and honestly, being around people who do not compromise anything brings conviction that is super emotionally and spiritually exhausting.........but it's so worth it.

It's about that time. Today is the day of choosing whom we will serve........self or the Lord our God. (yes, I'm still a Calvinist, and yes, I still believe you need to choose)

And plead desperately that the Lord will give you the faith and the desire to choose Him.......since the desire of the flesh is against God....the Spirit gives faith and ability to believe and cherish righteousness and holiness - God Himself.
Praise Him for keeping you believing today.

In Christ Jesus,
Jen