Friendships & Singleness ~

I get so much advice on what to do with this and that circumstance, and seriously, guys and girls give exactly opposite advice.......it's mindboggling.
The whole goal in courtship seems to be - to pursue the relationship, but prayerfully and slowly at first - yet not with so much force that if either decides to pull back that it would completely rock either person's world.

My girls are constantly reminding me that my heart needs to be guarded.......(especially lately with the recent breakup) and that it's a girl's responsibility before God to limit her little heart's exposure to anyone of the opposite sex unless and until the timing is right and the man has truly demonstrated the perseverance it takes to draw out the deepest parts........in a way, he really needs to fight for it. Fighting his own selfish ambitions, his frustrations, the misunderstandings that come when trying to interpret the female heart.
I think I'm learning this lately......that to see Christ in a man, in his giving up himself for his bride (Jesus/the church) is a necessary precursor to marriage. Without the man being able to give up his rights and go to the funeral of himself, the girl will not feel safe to be vulnerable, nor loved, nor cherished as God intended. We know the love of God in Christ by his persevering and suffering and dying.
It's amazing to me that when my last boyfriend was the most loving and tender with me -
the desire to follow him came EASY - it was EASY to trust him and submit to his decisions and leadership......because I trusted that the Lord was his leader in that he was being sensitive to God's headship of him. The man's obedience before God is a blessing to the woman - in that she finds freedom to obey the command to respect and follow her (potential) husband with great joy.

On the flip side of the coin, this is difficult for myself and other women like me who don't really enjoy superficial conversations......I would rather cut myself open and bleed with my friends than pretend that "all is well" and never get to know my family in the Lord.
So herein lies my dilemma.......

Guys have said that a girl should not presume that a guy is interested in anything more than a friendship unless he makes that intention known - verbally.
And to that I say, sure! - that's reasonable......since I know girls who swoon and think that guys are interested in them if the brother simply says "hi" and practices Christian kindness.
(even though he is kind every other sister also....but women seem not to notice that part)

My girls say (thank you friends) that as women we need to keep watch over our hearts by limiting our brother's access to our time, unless he makes his intentions clear...and even then.......guarding our hearts by limiting what we talk about.

So........can guys and girls be friends?