Friday, September 01, 2006

Getting to the CRUX of matter

With today being the first of September........I'm gearing up for the Bethlehem classes and in depth study in my small group and the ministry. 2006 has already been a huge trial for me in my faith. A good one for sure and still in process. God has seemed to be very near and then very far throughout......and now, heading into the fall equals = more responsibility and ever more dependence on the Lord. (well, more awareness of my utter dependence anyhow....because yes, my next breath will be....if God gives it to me !!!)

Ever deal with fear by simply not thinking about what it is that you're fearing?
That was how I dealt with everything fearful before I was saved....and unfortunately, sometimes that's how I am attempted to deal with fearful things now days.
Just by refusing to think about it. Oh, sure, it can even come across to brothers and sisters like I have it all together. But deep down I'm not relying on the Lord, I'm relying on my ability to not think about this or that.
I have more than a sneaking suspicion that that is not how I am to deal with fears and fretting as a believer. That is NOT faith, even if it comes with someone saying that "God is Sovereign" because of course He is!!
So my conclusion today is that thinking and praying and feeling through promises is the way I need to go. If I just put on a happy face, and walk around pretending that I am not susceptible to fretting, I haven't conquered wonder I don't see things through a divine perspective!!! It's like a dream world!
Only if I confess my temptation to fret and bring it to the Lord and give myself wholly over to His word can my "not fretting" be called "faith" we go. I've been called to teach the 3 year olds at Bethlehem....and I want it to count for the kingdom. I want these children to feel the weight of the truth of God in the telling of the history of God's faithfulness to his people. Lord willing, He'll use a little nobody like me.

Side note:
Jeremiah 1:17
God said to Jeremiah,
"Get up and get dressed. Go out, and tell them whatever I tell you to say. Do not be afraid of them, or I will make you look foolish in front of them."


At 9/01/2006 12:41 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...


Wow - when I got your email and now when I read this - each time the weight of responsibility and the "terrifying honor" it is to shape young minds and to teach them about our God simply astounds me. That is INCREDIBLE. I will be praying for you in this - that God may use you to the utmost for His glory (and to be sure, you'll be learning so much from them!!)

Nice 'sidenote' too, friend......

At 9/01/2006 1:21 PM, Blogger Benjamin Oetken said...

Seek the Lord and He will direct your steps.

At 9/01/2006 1:26 PM, Anonymous Oatmeal said...

That's a darn lucky group of 3 yr olds if you ask me~

At 9/01/2006 3:14 PM, Blogger Jen2 said...

You friends are sweet....I re-read this and it did not make sense....I'm glad you could follow it! And thank you for prayer, I know well that I need all that I can get.


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